The Perils of Grocery Shopping

Since TDH and I don't get to spend as much time together as we'd like, we often talk on the phone while we're going about our everyday lives. It's not like we do anything particularly exciting, just day to day stuff, things that need to be done, but that seem to be more fun because we have each other for entertainment.
While he's driving home from work, when he's on his way to Home Depot, while we're driving to see each other, while I'm headed to the gym - essentially whenever one of us is out of the house without our spouse, and when the other can get a moment alone, we're on the phone.
We must get annoying to the cashiers in all these places, because often we're each wearing our headset, thus carrying on a conversation with essentially no one. I know I've gotten dirty looks before. So what I try to do now is to put him on hold, so I can pay attention to whoever is helping me out, then beep back when I'm through paying.
One thing we do love to do though (and that we do more and more often) is when one of us has to stop in at someones house, or have a conversation with someone, we'll keep the other person on the line so they can hear what's going on. This often results in whoever is just listening in, whispering dirty thoughts into the phone, while the one involved in face to face communication with someone has to try and carry on a normal exchange.
Lots of times the result of this is sudden outbursts of laughter, or him whispering "fuuuuuck" under his breath while I'm telling him what I wish I was doing to him. It's almost turned into a game now - see if we can make the other person laugh, or see how turned on we can get them before they head back to their car.
But still, one of my favourite things (and his) is going grocery shopping, because many times we seem to be grocery shopping at the same time, though on opposite sides of the city. We just walk around, chatting to each other about what we're buying, telling each other what's good, and most of the time we end up buying wacky stuff, just because we get distracted by talking. I guess one of the reasons we like it most is because grocery shopping is such a normal, "married" couple thing.
I know, danger, danger, danger :)

I Need Some Advice

Nothing serious, and in fact, pretty much the exact opposite of serious.

Okay, now how to put this...

When it comes to my nether-regions, I have a clean slate. There is no 70's bush, no landing strip, no nothing. I like the bare look.

Essentially what I'm trying to say is that I have no pubic hair :)

I started going bare when I was about 15 or so, and I've just never went back, I love it. SH doesn't seem to care either way (big surprise, he doesn't really have an opinion about it), but TDH loves it.

So the other day TDH and I somehow got on the topic of grooming. He asked me how long I had been tending things this way, and then said "Hmm, I wonder what you would look like with a strip or something?"

As the conversation went on, he said that he prefers me to be bare, but that now his interest was piqued as to what I would look like with a bit of...garden...so he asked me to let it grow so he could see what it was like. He said to do whatever I wanted with it, he was just curious.

So here's where I need the advice. What do any of you find sexy on a woman? What do you do yourself? A strip? Regular old bush, just kept trimmed? In a heart shape? Glitter?

The Day I Let the "L-word" Take Over

Darling Daughter (DD) was born last year. That first night after she was born, I barely slept. She seemed only to be content nestled up to my chest, and SH didn't sleep either, sitting up in an uncomfortable chair in my hospital room.

The second night was more of the same, so by the time that morning rolled around, we were beyond exhausted. We were to be discharged from the hospital by lunch, so while SH was taking care of the paperwork, I flipped by cell phone on for the first time in three days. Seconds after I turned it on, there was a succession of dings as messages began coming through, and I delighted in reading all the congratulations. In the middle of all those, there was one from TDH, it read: Hi. It's 3am and I'm awake and thinking about you :) I hope you're having a great night. I miss you - a lot.

I texted him back immediately (since by now it was around 9am) and he was happy to hear from me. He asked me how the baby was, how the birth went, if I was okay. I told him that we were fine, and that I would love to be able to see him, and introduce him to my daughter. He replied: That would make me incredibly happy :) oh God Kate, you do crazy things to me - I miss you so damn much.

I remember teasing him about being so mushy - he never has had a problem telling me his feelings - but in that moment his messages just seemed so much more vulnerable (hard to tell via text I realize, but to me it was obvious). When I asked him about his emotions, he said: I don't know, when you love someone eventually the flood gates can't hold it all back anymore :)

I also remember at that moment thinking to myself "This is completely insane! I just gave birth, I'm sitting here waiting for SH to pack us up to go home, and all I can think of is my lover, and how much I wish he were here right now."

I told TDH as much, saying that he must be crazy for feeling this way about a woman that just gave birth to a child that wasn't even his. He replied: The only crazy in my life is that I'm crazy about you Katiecat :)

I, of course, was sitting there with the biggest, goofiest grin on my face - high on my new baby, and the fact that he was being so amazing - when I snapped to my senses and told him that I should really go, because SH would be back soon. I said I'd try to get out to see him as soon as possible. He sent one last message that day that said: Perfect :) well I better go before he comes back. I love you Kate, and miss you like crazy.

And that exact moment is when I finally let my heart melt into the puddle it had been threatening for so long, and admit that I really loved him. Like really and truly loved him. And not only that, but I was in love with him.

I had known it long before that, but had always kept it at bay. He had told me several times during moments of passion that he loved me, and I always responded that I loved him too (because I knew I did), but this was different. This wasn't us in the middle of a sexual frenzy. This was him at home, worrying and missing me, and seeing me looking my most horrific after having just had a baby (SH was sending photos of DD and I from his phone to everyone), and yet still feeling the way he did.

I posted pictures of DD and I a couple days later on facebook - me still looking ghostly pale, with huge black circles under my eyes from lack of sleep - and he was emailing me instantly, telling me that I had never looked more gorgeous, and that he couldn't wait to wrap his arms around me and just hold me.

Now how is an exhausted woman, euphoric on her new baby, supposed to contend with that?


LOL - I know, I know. I was in over my head long before that moment :)

This Made Me Smile

I don't think I've touched on this yet, but since we've been found out, TDH has gotten a job elsewhere, and after my maternity was up, I went back to my old job. However, I am seriously looking to find another job, as the place just doesn't feel right to me anymore.
This makes TDH happy because he knows that I'm unhappy there, but worried because he knows that me finding another job (in a male dominated field) will mean new men around me. As mean as this may make me seem, I like his worry. Once in a great, great while - it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who gets paranoid.


The following msn conversation took place yesterday afternoon:

TDH says: You'll get a new job, and love it there - (with all the old ladies)
Kate says: With all the men I can flirt my way to the top with, you mean?
TDH says: No men - only old ladies - who haven't been laid in 20 years
TDH says: You'll be their savior! And make them all want to go out and get freaky!
Kate says: Yeah, I'd rather work with the dudes
TDH says: You'll tell them stories about your last job - and how you got freaky with one of your co-workers on the boardroom table (but they can't tell your husband...etc)
TDH says: You'll bring a sexual revolution to the company of oldies
Kate says: There will be dudes - sorry babe
TDH says: Yeah - there might be - but they will be ugly, and be about as dumb as rocks
TDH says: Sorry to you babe
Kate says: Don't worry - no one else is crazy enough to think about me the way you do
Kate says: All I know is that there will be men - but that I won't think about them in any other way than work people, and they will think of me as that loud, annoying woman they work with
TDH says: They will like you - and be attracted to you - I know - I used to work with you - I saw the way others looked at you
TDH says: Especially in those fucking heels - mmmmmmmmmm
Kate says: You saw the way you looked at me - that's it
TDH says: And Kevin, and Aaron.... (I think his name was Aaron)
TDH says: I even saw Todd checking out your legs -
Kate says: Who? Aaron?
TDH says: Tall guy, with glasses
Kate says: Eric?!??!!
TDH says: Aaron... no - that wasn't his name - I dunno -
Kate says: Really????
TDH says: Yeah! Eric!
TDH says: Marshall!
TDH says: Yeah - when you walked by, he always looked back
Kate says: Oh man...new topic!!
TDH says: And once you were standing at Dawn's desk - with a skirt, and you were kind of bent over her desk talking to her - more leaning on it, and I saw Todd's eyes travel up your legs
Kate says: Fuck off
TDH says: I don't know who you were talking to - but I saw his eyes
Kate says: Okay - enough
Kate says: Really!!!
TDH says: I'm telling you - you are one hot mama! - and it's not just me that thinks that! Sorry - guys will check you out - it's a fact of life
TDH says: I wish I could hire you to work for me, and I'd hide you away so I wouldn't have to share you with anyone
Kate says: LOL! You can't hide me away - I have to work somewhere!
TDH says: It actually worries me - you obviously don't see yourself the way other people do - guys are going to be falling for you all over the place...

I went to sleep last night with a blissful, sadistic little grin on my face.
Yes I did.

Hi Babes

Sorry I've been MIA this week - SH has been home for 4 days, therefore not letting me out of his sight. It would be better if that was because we were having so much crazy sex that I couldn't get to the computer, but we all know that's not the case. sigh.
Anyways, he'll be off to work on Saturday, so I'll be back to post and catch up with all of you then.

Love.

I'll Never Complain About a Board Room Meeting...

TDH and I are on the mend from last week's misunderstanding/blog discovery/fight extraordinaire, and are slowly, but surely, getting back to normal. Today we texted through the morning, and had a two hour phone call this afternoon. Though things are back to happy in that way, we have yet to see each other in person...it's been since December 19th people!!! Too long.

Anyways, as a way of cheering myself up further, and posting something other than a dreary fight recap, or a sniffle-worthy depiction of how much I love him, I figured I'd do something different...I'd recap all the places I can remember us having sex.

Before that though, can I just say that this man is an absolute God in the sack? Like maddeningly scream-worthy, every touch makes me shudder in happiness and excitement, I want to fuck you till I can't walk, mind-blowingly phenomenal? Oy. My toes curl just thinking about it.


So without dragging this out further, let me begin:

At The Office
My desk*
Up against the wall in my office*
His desk
Various locations on the floor in his office
A co-workers desk*
That same co-workers desk chair
Up against that same co-workers wall*
The board room table (one of my personal favorites)
Various cubicles around the main part of our office*
The front desk of our offices - right where the bitchy secretary sits
The stairwell*

Honorable mention goes out to the elevator, various hallways in our office building, and the staff kitchen for hosting various other sexual activities.
*The starred listings are those that have been used during working hours as well, when other people were around.

His House
Living room couch
Living room floor
Floor of his home office
Balanced on the back of the couch in the basement
Pull-out couch in the basement
Garage
Hood of his wife's car while it was parked in the garage

My House
Living room couch
Up against the wall in my kitchen
My guest bedroom bed
My bed
The floor in the living room

Otherwise
Backseat of my car
Front seat of my car
Hood of my car
Hood of his car
Against a tree at a nearby beach
Various parking lots or secluded roads around the city
-we often joke that our DNA can be found randomly around the city because of the "clean-up evidence" being scattered everywhere

Now that's a fairly extensive list, and some of them have been used more than once (did I mention how much I love the board room table?), but I have a few others that I have been dying to try out. For example: my dining room table, the staircase at his house, up against the windows in my office downtown, in the change rooms at Victoria's Secret (he loves going there with me to pick things out).

Sigh. I need to see him in person. Time to get some :)

Update on the TDH Situation

After our phone conversation on Tuesday where I was slammed with him finding my blog, I got a few more text messages from him before his wife got home and it was completely unsafe.
It seems that the part of my post that bothered him the most was when I said that I was leaving the work up to him for now, and in particular, the last line "If he still wants me, he knows how to find me."
He sent me a text about that line that said The one thing I do know is that this will not become a single sided driven relationship. I am not going to "do all the work" - it's equal effort or nothing.

Then he said it was unsafe to text back because his wife was around, and we would talk about it more on Wednesday - aaaah! To get a message like that and not be able to defend yourself is a terrible feeling. I do know he was taking things the wrong way because his feelings were hurt about the entire thing, but holy, talk about taking things out of context!

So yesterday morning I tried to explain to him that if he had stood back and looked at that entire paragraph, I was referring to him putting in the effort with texts, saying he missed me, initiating us seeing each other, that stuff. He normally is great with that stuff, but as of late I've been feeling sort of ignored.

We went back and forth via text on it, and I tried to get him to understand that it was my insecurity talking, not how I felt about our relationship. In the end, I decided that no matter what I told him, he had to work through it himself, which he basically told me anyways.

Finally I just sent him a message that said Are we going to recover from this? Because honestly, I've never had him mad at me before, and the way he was talking the night before, I thought we were probably over. He came back with If you're interested in recovering, then sure, why not? To tell you the truth, I was almost surprised.

Around lunch yesterday I sent him a "normal" text asking how work was going, to which he sent me a polite answer, and that continued throughout the day, with him sounding a little more like himself with each message. Late in the afternoon I had to run out to do some errands, so we arranged for me to call him.

Oh my. The first 15 minutes of that conversation were awkward to say the least, but half an hour later we had each other laughing, and were talking fairly normally.

Today we've been texting all day, and we both seem to be in good spirits. Thank god.

**************************************

The one thing I've learned from this entire fight, is that my insecurity is what leads to a lot of misunderstandings we have. He actually made that painfully clear (unintentionally) when during our phone fight he said "I thought I had made it perfectly clear to you the way I feel about you. I was 100% confident in our relationship and us being together, how can you be so unsure?"
And when I really think about it, besides going through the occasional "We can't have sex anymore" moment, he has never given me any reason to doubt him, to doubt the way he feels about me, to doubt that he loves me.

I was never insecure with SH, and now it's almost as though I don't exist most of the time in his eyes, outside of being a roommate. I wonder then if I'm overly insecure with TDH, because I'm scared of the same thing happening with him?