Thursday, December 11, 2008

Today

I know I should give you more background before I get too into the day to day stuff of my life, but at this moment, all I can think of is today. Because today, TDH is spending the whole day with me. This is pretty much my definition of utter bliss.
SH is out of town for the day, and just because of his schedule, TDH has the day off - except for one meeting that he just left for. He's been here since about 8 this morning, and will have to leave late this afternoon to get home before his wife, but otherwise he's mine. He left for his meeting about 5 minutes ago, and already I miss him.
LOL - and as I type this he just sent me a text that says "Hi Katiecat, I miss you already."

On a side note, we are currently in a time period where we're not having sex. A few months ago we were doing it every time we saw each other for 10 minutes, but about 3 weeks ago he finally confessed that he was actually starting to feel some real guilt. Surprisingly? The guilt was due to the way he feels about the church, not because of his devotion to his wife. But that's fodder for another post.

Now I'm not sure about anyone else's situation, but in mine, spending the day together with no (or few) interruptions, is what we both love. We just go about daily life, cleaning, cooking, playing with our kids, getting groceries, or whatever. For instance, this morning he came in as I was unloading the dishwasher, and stood and watched me in appreciation as I reached up to the highest shelf in a cupboard to put some bowls away. I know the reason he liked this is because I had to stretch up onto my tiptoes, thus working my calf muscles and giving the illusion of high heels. TDH likes a lot of things about my body, but my legs are number one on his list.
When I finished, I poured him a cup of coffee, wiped down the counters, offered him one of the muffins I baked last night, and got bottles organized for DD for the day.
While I was doing all this he stood leaning against the kitchen door, sipping his coffee and repeatedly telling me how beautiful I was.
Soon DD woke up, and he came into her room with me to get her. She knows him, and instantly gave him a big grin (she's not old enough to talk yet), and laughed when he played peek-a-boo with her.
The rest of the morning was spent laying on the living room floor playing with her, him occasionally crawling over to give me a slow kiss, and us talking about anything and everything.
When it was time for her nap I laid her down and came back into the living room, but soon he was taking my hands and pulling me into my bedroom. He threw me down on the bed and was on top of me in a second.
"Why do you have to look so damn good all the time?" he breathed in my ear.
I am always surprised when he says this, because half the time I dress in whatever is close to me. Today I'm wearing a pair of black short shorts and a tank top (pretty much my standard when I'm at home), with a chocolate brown lace bra peeking out of the top. Not exactly what you might call a sexy outfit. The fact that I had a shower and didn't brush my hair? Apparently a turn on because it's dried into a wild mess of waves - he's been pulling on it all day.
The fact that we're not having sex at the moment is almost more of a turn on than anything. Apparently we're allowed anything but sex right now - the man needs to re-evaluate his rules, I know - so soon he's completely naked, and I'm refusing to take anything off, just to tease him further. Good God, this man is utterly gorgeous in his nakedness. And because in comparison to him I am quite little (which he also loves) he has a good time pushing me around on the bed. I must confess, I love being his little rag-doll.
This afternoon will be spent playing more with DD, more of him and I playing in the bedroom, him helping me start dinner (which will actually be for SH and I - how weird is that?), and eventually saying goodbye.
This is how I know that things are getting dangerous. When it's not just about the hotness of meeting up somewhere for a quick fuck, or to steal an hour or two for coffee, but instead spending hours together, essentially playing house. What makes it even harder is because he keeps saying to me "Why do you not have my last name? Why does fate play so dirty?"
All I can do is tell him that I don't know - I wish things were different...and therein lies the danger. I really do wish things were different.

3 comments:

butterfly said...

My heart goes out to you. A year ago I was in the same situation. I left my DH in September and he left his DW on the same day. We now spend every second we can together but have yet to come out in the open (trying to cause less pain?)). I did not mean to fall in love with him. It was just supposed to be fun but alas, he is the love of my life and I long for the day I take his last name. Good luck to you. I know how hard it is to have that double life. Wanting so bad to be with someone while your with someone else.

Oh and welcome! I am enjoying your blog.

A Secret Freak said...

Things are not different though... as much as we wish this, the truth remains the same. I understand you more than you realize, our situations are very similar, except I don't have the TDH one like you! But the SH, I know.. You are in a dangerous situation, just be careful!
And might i say you have balls, playing house all day like that.. in YOUR house!
Just found you, and am enjoying.. Anxious to see what happens next!

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